don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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