You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
