Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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