I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize