so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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