I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
