you guys were way drunker than both of me
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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