"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
