I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Randomize
