two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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