two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
