I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
