I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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