she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
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You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
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You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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