rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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