she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
