you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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