Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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