hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am puke
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
