I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
