Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
