She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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