so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
