im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
