there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
