I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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