Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
