I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
