So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
