It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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