Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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