Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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