yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
