I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
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I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
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I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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