We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
