I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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