i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
wow bdsm is so cute
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
