if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
