Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
