Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
