that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My bed smells like the plague
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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