There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize