i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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