I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
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So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
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Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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