I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
