looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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