have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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