But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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