You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
