Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
