the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
