clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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