The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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