the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
me + whiskey = a bad person
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
