I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
