DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
