I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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