What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
