Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
