She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
