How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
