Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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