Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
