My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize